lonely

There are close to 20 million people in this city.  We are stacked up nearly on top of one another .  With all these people, I cannot find solace anywhere,  yet I have never been so lonely. I heard of being the most loneliest in a crowd, but I cannot fathom being anymore alone,  than I am now.  I once rented a wreck, (yes that was the name of the company) that broke down on me on a deserted highway. A truck driver picked me up and took me to the next town.  He was going a different way and dropped me off at the Greyhound Bus Stop.  I waited until 3 that morning for the bus to make its rounds.  There wasn’t a sole around for those five hours, and no traffic on the road.  The pay phone did not work,  and I found myself longing for anyone, even a stray cat.  I was less lonely at that bus stop, than I am at this moment in my life. Why do I  feel this way? Where I would rather die right now as a young man, than to live to be 120,  as a lonely old man?